I have been recently taking to Quora to answer the questions of men and confront delusional women. Here’s one such encounter.
Johanna Steinbrecher from Germany asks, “Are women losing their power in the dating field?”
My Response
Women want a man that does not exist. A man that has it all. The media, entertainment industry, and our society has convinced women they can have this man. I call him the Unicorn Man because he doesn’t exist.
Modern women have an inflated sense of value and worth. They think they deserve men that are actually out of their league. Women tend to forget that the dating market is a market of commodities. Just because you’ve seen Henry Cavill on the big screen doesn’t mean you can actually get a man like him. Henry Cavill doesn’t want you, and he never will, because you don’t offer him enough value. Each woman has a value and rank in the sexual marketplace, and she can only get what her value and rank affords her. She cannot get any better than that and she does not deserve any better. This is the harsh reality of the sexual marketplace. A woman’s self-entitlement to a certain type of man is irrelevant to what she can actually get.
Men delude themselves in this same way. They think they “should” be able to get a fitness model when they’re obese and earning $50,000 per year working for someone else. They can’t get the women they want, so they just “give up” and never work on improving themselves. They blame women for their problems and never take responsibility for their own unattractiveness. It’s disgusting.
Dating is a Marketplace of Commodities
In a marketplace of commodities, you find another merchant and you attempt to make a trade. You have to give something of value that the other merchant wants in order to get what he has. A man has to value a woman as much as she values him for an exchange to occur. Men have the control over what they value, not women. Women try to tell men what to value and how to value women, but we ignore that attempted manipulation. Women think they are entitled to a high value man just for existing, and they forget there’s a male human being on the other side that must value them back.
You talk about men like we should just show up and love you automatically because you’re a woman. That’s naïve and ridiculous. If you’re not able to attract the type of man you want, you need to blame yourself, instead of men, and change the parts of yourself that men find unappealing. You should start with your delusions of superiority over men. Men of value find that type of attitude repulsive in women. You’re only going to attract weak men with poor self-esteem having that mentality.
There are plenty of men out there for you, but your post clearly reveals that you think you’re too good for them. Have you ever considered that you’re just arrogant? There are thousands of men you could date in your city, yet you claim there are no men around. I see that you’re in Germany, but American women have also adopted this constant wail of “where have all the good men gone?”
You Ain’t That Hot
Here’s the harsh reality of your situation. You think you’re a 10 and you think you deserve a 10 man. The men around you think you’re a 7. Men that are 10s are rare, and if they are ever near you, they have no interest in you because 10s don’t want to date 7s. You realistically deserve men that are 7s and 8s. But, you think you’re a 10 and you look down your nose at these 7s and 8s to the point of making them invisible to you. You’ve got your eyes peeled for a male 10, but they are super rare and they have no interest in you. Thus, you come to the conclusion that “men don’t seem to be around anymore.”
Have you ever been looking at purchasing a new car, and then all of a sudden you start to see that make and model of vehicle everywhere? This is what the brain does when it wants something. It looks for the thing we specifically want and filters out everything that is similar but different. You didn’t want that car before, and thus it was invisible to you before. You are doing this same thing with men. You are looking around for the 10s, and all the men you could realistically date, the 7s and 8s you really should be looking for, are invisible to you.
The Perpetual Unhappiness of Women
To easily solve your problem of “not being able to find a man” you can lower the value of man you want or lower your self-valuation. Most women refuse to do either, and they stay perpetually unhappy with men. They constantly complain about the lack of available “good men”. They date, have long-term relationships, and even have marriages with men, but they always harbor the belief that they “settled” and “deserve better” than the man they are with.
Hundreds of women have told me in my family law practice, and in dating, that they “never wanted to be with” their ex-husbands. They blame their husbands, their parents, and society for forcing them into a marriage with a man that was lower quality than what they “deserved”. But, of course, they are the only ones to blame, they just refuse to take responsibility. The moral of the story is that if you continue to inflate the value of yourself and what you deserve, you will never find a man, or more likely, you will be disappointed with every man you ever find.
Women Being Bad Versions of Men
Women have been told they can have it all, and that’s a lie. After the Sexual Revolution, women have been told they can have the career and income of a man and the family and motherhood of a woman. They’ve been told they can have the perfect man and the perfect career. This is obviously fantasy and delusion. Women can’t have it all. A woman’s physical appearance fades fast after 25 which makes her less desirable to men. Additionally, her ability to reproduce rapidly declines as she ages. These are the cold, brutal facts of life that all women understand but don’t want to discuss. High value men want young, beautiful, and fertile women to date and marry. Your friends that are 30 to 34 are desperate for good reason. They know their window to attract a high value man is closing, and they may never find one if they don’t take action now.
Women always have power in the dating field over certain types of men. Maybe the power you have is over the type of man that you deem to be below “Mr. Average”, as you put it. Thus, you don’t perceive the “power” you have as being valuable or substantial.
Everything you wrote belies your arrogance and entitlement. You think high value men should be lining up around the corner to court you and beg for your approval. You think you’re superior to the men that you actually deserve to be with. If a man wrote a post displaying the same arrogance and entitlement to women that you have shown to men, he would be criticized and attacked for being misogynistic.
Women are allowed to pursue men. You denigrate this and label it as “throwing themselves” at men. If it’s 2022 and women are “equal”, what’s wrong with confident women that pursue men? Maybe you want us to go back to the 19th century where men did all the pursuing and women had no rights or status.
He Doesn’t Care That You’re a “Professional Woman”
You need to understand that men don’t evaluate women the same way you evaluate men. Men do not care about your career and your “professional” job. As a woman, you harshly judge a man on his income, title, social status, and career. Men don’t judge you the same way. Men judge you on your age and physical appearance. Again, you think you’re entitled to more than you actually deserve with men. You think that being a professional adds to your value and it doesn’t. Thus, the 10s that you want and think you deserve don’t want you back because your title and career means little to them, and you have the physical appearance of a 7, not a 10. Further, many men avoid dating “professional women” because they find them to be arrogant, bossy, entitled, and like dating a StairMaster. To explain her own lack of options, a woman often deludes herself into believing that men are “intimidated” by her money and confidence, but in reality she’s just a miserable woman to date.